Lamentations of the New Queen
by Ravenclaw-Earl of Storybrooke
Summary: Cruella de Vil laments the events surrounding her rise to ultimate power in the Underworld. Help comes from a most unexpected source. Takes place after 5x20 "Firebird." Please follow, favorite, and review!


Cruella de Vil laments the events surrounding her rise to ultimate power in the Underworld. Help comes from a most unexpected source.

Author's Note: What could be more appropriate than a Cruella-controlled Underworld? This directly follows the events of "Firebird." Please enjoy, follow, favorite, and review!

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Cruella de Vil sat facing the window, contemplating the red-tinted light of the stars.

"I've compiled the list of possible color schemes for the Underworld, Your Majesty," the Blind Witch said, tottering her way into Cruella's office.

"I have no idea why, darling." Cruella snapped. "No matter how you decorate down here, it's all rust-colored anyway. We might as well just burn it all."

The Blind Witch raised her eyebrows. "Is that all, Your Majesty?"

"It's nothing!" Cruella shouted, throwing her red-gloved hands in the air. "Absolutely nothing!"

"You're the new ruler of the Underworld! You control the afterlife now, and no one can stand in your way. You're living the dream!"

Cruella dramatically stood and swooped down upon the decanter of sherry that had replaced a bowl of black, wax apples. She poured herself a glass and leaned miserably against the table.

"Am I? You have no career growth potential when you're the Ruler of the Underworld. Hell, Hades stayed in the same job for eons!"

The Blind Witch sat down in the nearest chair that she smelled. "But he didn't answer to anyone!"

"Perhaps not," Cruella nodded, taking a swig of sherry. "He also couldn't wait to get out of here. Now he's off to Storybrooke with that two-bit Regina rip-off and her bundle of misery, and I'm here to clean up the mess."

"But you rule over everyone who's down here!" the Blind Witch insisted.

"And who's that?" Cruella cackled. "You? You may have a talent for food, but your powers don't extend much further than that. Everyone interesting is gone now. Cora is off to spend eternity in heaven with the pirate's dishy brother, Peter Pan is a water stain on the pawn shop floor, Gaston isn't around to hunt new and exciting fur accessories for me, and James… oh, James. He really did understand me like no one ever did before." She finished her sherry and poured herself another glass.

Feeling cold, the Blind Witch felt her way towards the fireplace, using her limited magic to stoke the flames and warming her dead hands near the blaze. "There's always someone to torment here."

Cruella laughed sarcastically. "Hardly. That blasted Henry set most of my population free. And torture can be so boring. I'm really a simple girl. The only thing I ever wanted was to kill other people. How can I kill people when everyone here is dead?"

"Raise the stakes! Make new enemies!"

"Who here is really worth destroying though, darling?" Cruella asked, unusually earnestly. (The Blind Witch suspected that the sherry was getting to her.) "All of my interesting enemies just went away. Nothing is interesting here anymore. It's like I've only been a supporting player this entire time. No one even tried to destroy me before leaving. Am I important to no one?"

"Not no one," said a quiet, male voice from the doorway.

Cruella spun around to see the Apprentice in his long, red robes. "What do you want, old man?"

"I came to offer you some guidance." He looked at her with his dark, mournful eyes.

"Guidance?" Cruella smirked. "Do you really think that I want any help from you?"

"No, I know better," he said quickly. "Cruella de Vil, you are vile, vicious, and stubborn."

Cruella smiled flirtatiously. "You probably can't tell because everything looks so red, but I'm blushing right now," she informed Merlin's most faithful servant.

"However, I think you might be able to do a better job than Hades at ruling this place."

For once, Cruella said nothing, raising her eyebrows inquisitively. The Blind Witch did the same.

"I said that I was bringing you guidance, and I am. In days of old, the world was governed by three brothers: one who was unquestioned in the sky, one who managed the affairs of the oceans, and one who managed the Underworld. While it would be irresponsible of me to allow you to have influence on anything that effects the living, I think it may be time for a certain sisterhood to reunite the bonds between those three realms."

The Apprentice stepped aside, revealing two beaming figures in the doorway.

Cruella's eyes went wide with excited shock. "Maleficent! Ursula!"

Surely enough, there were the other two Queens of Darkness, both clad in their Storybrooke attire.

Cruella rose and walked cautiously towards them. "I thought you were both off on your adventures! Ursula with her father and Mal with her daughter."

"We were," Ursula explained. "I've made peace with my father, but he's so busy being the King of the Sea. I need excitement in my life, and you're the one who can provide that, Cruella."

Cruella regarded Maleficent nervously. "The last time I saw you, you were about to incinerate me over Lilac."

"Lily," Maleficent corrected her, pursing her red lips. "I've forgiven you for that. I've come to realize that you can't help that you're terrible. But you did try to help me when the Charmings stole her, and I will forever be grateful to you for that." She put her arms around Cruella in a gentle embrace. Cruella returned it stiffly, unused to this sort of genuine affection.

The Apprentice stepped forward. "Lord Zeus, in the interest of maintaining an expedient Underworld, has decreed that Maleficent and Ursula may enter and exit the Underworld whenever they choose in order to ensure that the departed are being processed appropriately. As long as you continue to comply with the wishes of Olympus, this arrangement may continue."

"Thank you," Cruella said, giving the Apprentice a rare genuine smile, which he returned.

"I'm off," he said. "Part of my deal was that I could move on if I facilitated this happy reunion. Farewell, Cruella. Rule this place well." He departed from the office.

Cruella smiled and returned to sitting behind her desk.

"Who is this?" Ursula asked, gesturing to the Blind Witch, who had been listening to the scene interestedly.

"This is the Blind Witch," Cruella explained, making rude gestures towards the cannibal to emphasize her moniker. "She runs the diner down here."

"I see," Maleficent said. "So I guess the Queens of Darkness are back in business."

"Queens of Darkness?" the Blind Witch asked eagerly. "Is there room for one more?"

Ursula looked from Cruella to Maleficent. "Well, I guess for a full set, we need a Ringo."

"Approved, then!" Cruella declared. "Let's go celebrate!"

"How are we going to do that?" Maleficent asked.

"Just because we have to handle things efficiently doesn't mean we can't make a bit of mischief down here," Cruella cackled. "Citizens of the Underworld, get ready for the time of your lives… figuratively speaking."

THE END

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Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed this story. If you did, please follow, favorite, and review!


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